The Questions My Demons Ask Me

What do your demons whisper in your ears to make you want to give up? Here's mine.

Introduction

I don’t normally write encouragement pieces. Not because I lack the will (or motivation) to be encouraging, but because sometimes it feels like fluff. It feels like it won’t actually address the problems we all face as writers. It feels vapid and unproductive, as if I’m not actually seeing your problems, but rather—from my point of advantage—cheering you on in a way that doesn’t consider your struggles as both writers and unique persons.

But, today I feel I’ve found a way to encourage you all that can both (hopefully) inspire, and provide meaningful ways for you all to help encourage each other and yourselves in your daily lives.

And THAT is a valuable tool.

I’ve decided to structure today’s post as a series of personal questions I’ve asked myself on the days when my demons get the better of me, and my hope is that I’ll be able to give encouraging (but also productive) responses to each.

What do I do when I Have No Motivation?

I don’t think a lot of people on Substack choose to write about their mothers unless they’re nonfiction essayists—Godspeed brothers and sisters—but my mother has been one of the biggest inspirations to me throughout my life and sometimes (almost always in my case) mother truly does know best.

So, here today to help me with one of the biggest questions I think writer’s struggle with (and that I’ve struggled with) is the advice my mother gave me throughout childhood.

She always said something along the lines of “If you have no motivation, don’t try to do a task for a long time. Set a timer for fifteen minutes and write or draw or edit or paint or sing or play the sousaphone for those fifteen minutes. If your timer goes off and you don’t want to do it anymore, stop. But, if you’ve hit your groove, then hit your groove and hop to it.” —Mama Griffith.

If I have no motivation to write, and I say “today I will write for four hours,” my day is going to slog along ahead of me and just absolutely loom like a gigantic man-eating spider.

BUT.

If I say, “today I’m going to write for fifteen minutes,” everything is suddenly much more manageable. There’s less pressure on me to be “productive,” I have more space to say “what do I actually WANT to do with my time” and if there’s something else I want to do, it gives me the permission to DO THAT.

You’re not going to hit your writerly stride every day, and I’m here to tell you that IT’S OKAY. Giving yourself grace doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try (even on your off days), but it does mean that once you’ve tried, you cut yourself some slack and love yourself (and trust yourself) enough to say, “I’ll get ‘em tomorrow.”

What if My Writing is a Waste of Time?

This is a lie. A downright, bold-faced, curmudgeonly, lie.

Your writing is NEVER a waste of time.

You may be thinking, “but Evelyn, how would you know? You’ve never read my writing.” (First of all, I would love to read your writing, drop your Substack in the comments and I will), but it doesn’t matter if I’ve read your writing or not for me to refute this claim. I’ll tell you why.

Writing is never a negatively compounding endeavor. If I write two words, or ten words, or one-hundred-thousand words, those are words that didn’t exist when I started. The fact that I didn’t write four words instead of two or two-hundred-thousand words instead of one-hundred-thousand is irrelevant.

I used to think that writing was like an exam, meaning there were points that would get me toward my goal, and there were points that would get me away from my goal (basically questions I got wrong which detracted from my overall score, and questions I got right which added to my overall score). But the fact of the matter is that this is completely untrue.

Writing is, by nature, a process of discovery. So, even if there are days when my writing leads my away from the “true center” of a piece or away from what would make it the best it can be, that writing still told me something about my work and about my goals and aspirations as a writer.

So what do you do when this question nags at you? You praise yourself for the work you WERE able to accomplish, and if that work got you “further from your goals” take the time to consider why that is. Break out a fresh journal and brainstorm what the center of the problem truly is so that tomorrow you can attack it with a new and refreshed perspective. You DISCOVERED something.

That matters.

What if Someone Already Wrote Something Similar to My Story?

I used to (and sometimes still) worry that my writing is unoriginal.

What if there’s nothing special about it? What if I can’t come up with the next big authorial idea? What if my books are fated to fade into the background in obscurity due to the overpopulated (and frankly somewhat frustrating) literary market that exists today?

This question is a kicker, especially if you’re set on being a traditionally published author (as I humbly hope to be).

There’s two thoughts I have for this question:

1.) Your story is your story because it’s your story.

Something my teacher said to me in undergrad chased away a lot of the fears I have when it comes to my own lack of originality. He said, “your story will be unique because you’re the one writing it, and no one else is you.” If you want to write another vampire romance, rest assured that it’s going to be unique because YOU wrote it. No one else.

2.) Why do you think genres exist? Because people LIKE having multiple of the same story.

It wasn’t phrased exactly this way when I heard it (and I’m sorry that I can’t credit a specific person), but let me ask you this, what’s your response when you see a story that has the same “vibes” or structure or plot or character type or theme or setting as a book you absolutely loved?

“YES!” (That’s my response anyway)

I love finding stories that are like my favorites because I WANT to read more stories like them. Do I want them to be the exact same story? No, but I know they won’t be because (as I said in point number 1) the new story will be unique to the author who wrote it.

So, considering those two points, why would you assume that readers won’t be excited to see your work?

Keep writing! There will be someone out there who is excited to read it.

Something I love is detracting from the [insert your form of writing] I’ve written, and it hurts to cut it. What do I do?

I wrote about this in more depth in a post I wrote recently. You can find it here, but for now I will say that, as much as it hurts, you have to do what’s best for the piece as a whole. Sometimes ideas just need to be reworked, sometimes they need to be cut entirely, but consider two things:

1.) The Design Process

I worked as a graphic design intern at a small company for three years, and sometimes I would get really frustrated when the idea I liked wasn’t picked for our final logo. My mentor at the time would always say, “Your design is there because it’s in the design process.” It took me a long time to understand what he meant, but he was saying that because I had to get through that idea to get to the goal, it’s inherently linked to the final product.

Writing is the same way. The ideas we have that get us to our final product are inherently steeped into whatever the project turns out to be. They matter.

2.) Consider the whole piece and the idea as separate entities with equal value.

Would you rather the entire piece was ruined, or that you kept that kernel of an idea to use in another piece where it could be the entire center? Give it the love and value it deserves and know that it was a part of the design process.

Conclusion

This was a lot.

I wanted to invite you all into some of the insecurities I’ve faced along my path as an author in hopes that they would give you comfort and inspire you to keep writing.

That should always be the goal.

Whenever you feel down, whenever you struggle with a unique problem, whenever you just can’t get those demons to quiet down, remember that your work has value and that most of the battle is picking up your pen for fifteen minutes.

Do you have any questions that nag at you that you want to share? What helps you to stay motivated? Drop a comment below.

As always, happy writing.